Mathematics

I love mathematics. And I used to love Additional Mathematics a lots! The kind of achievement feeling is so rewarding when you get all questions with the correct answers/numbers.

But when it comes to food, there is no 100% in nutrition. 

Alright, although there is no 100%. I tried my best to calculate these biscuits because I want to have three different flavours nowww. 

It took me a while to figure out how to calculate 15 g of carbs for my snack. Three individual different pieces are just perfect for 15 carbs!

(At least I do not need to break one piece of it into several miserable bits)

I totally understand how you feel when you need to calculate how much grams or calories you eat. Is no FUN at all. 

Alright, I only do this "no-fun-thing" once. Then, I will remember it forever. Yuppp! I only do this once and then I shall implement this knowledge again whenever I buy these biscuits next time! #justdoit

Chips More Original: 3 pieces = 21 gram carbs

Tiger susu: 5 pieces = 21 gram carbs

Jacob's Weetameal: 6 pieces = 21 gram carbs

Luckily, all these three types have similarity of 21 gram carbs, and hopefully I will not mix up the quantity tomorrow because...I threw away all packages herherher :p

Getting used is a Yes and No

I was so busy calculating my carbs for dinner just now and so concentrating on recording everything on iPhone app that I forgot to inject my pre-dinner bolus insulin! 

Until just now only I realised: Why is it that my insulin pen is still in my work bag? I did not inject is it? 

Omg. Am I getting old? Because I really can't remember whether I injected or not! The BG value just now is revealing that I am getting old or worse is I am already getting used to injections that I don't remember when is the last time I injected, and where I injected. 

OMG. Sleep is the last thing to do tonight. 

If disaster arrives

Every time when I watch those adventure/tragedy/horror movies, I will imagine myself in that scene running away, to save my life from the disaster with a bag of insulins, insulin pens, glucometer, whole lots of test strips and pen needles. 

Like the movie "2012" and "The Impossible". When the enormous big splash of water is coming towards my face, all I can do is run. And if the water gets on me, all my test strips gonna be wet by then! That's gonna be very challenging, because eventhough I survived through the disaster (which is very lucky), I guess I will not survive through T1D by then.

Or in the movie "World War Z", zombies are cominggg! But, yeah! Zombies won't attack a vulnerable non-healthy body like mine, so I am safe! And probably I can help in getting the vaccines from the lab, without getting chase after by the disgusting zombies. After watching this movie, I am not afraid of zombies anymore haha!

What will you do when you know that a disaster is about to come? 

Call your parent? Pack your money? Hug your partner?

I guess I will pack my medical supplies first, before I do all the above. 

Cauliflower Pizza Crust

I can eat quite a lot of food at one go. For pizza, I can eat up to 3 slices of thick crust pizza and still having some spaces for Diet Coke. 

Pizza always gives me high BG due to the thick crust of flour and tomato paste and etc. And I will never get satisfied eating thin crust, unless I eat the whole personal thin crust pizza all by myself. haha! 

Last week I was browsing through some culinary videos on YouTube and was locked on low carb pizza making videos! Low carb pizza? How can it be possible? To make the crust, still have to use flour, isn't it? Cauliflower itself will not form a pizza crust dough, but we can always use binders like cheese and egg! What a wonderful piece of creation for those like me! :)

It was a last minute thought of making a pizza at home. I just went out to buy those shredded pizza cheese and cheddar cheese, which are never available in my mom's fridge. At my home, Asian dishes are the staple food :p

These are the ingredients that I used.

These are for the pizza toppings. You can put in everything that you preferred! But please don't go overboard. At the end, these toppings are too bulky for my small pizza dough. So, I gave up putting tomatoes. I did pan-fry the chicken slices, broccolis and carrot pieces before they were being topped on pizza.

For the cauliflower pizza dough:

I used a whole cauliflower head that was available in the fridge. Coarsely cut it into pieces and put into the food processor. Then, pulse all the pieces until they were all shredded like picture below.

Pour some olive oil on the pan, and pan-fry the shredded cauliflower for about 5-10 minutes until softened and cooked. I added some salt to taste during this process. But, thinking back, it is actually not necessary to put salt here because the cheese that I used to bind later on already has flavors. 

Now making the dough!

After letting those shredded cauliflower cooled down, please dry it by putting the shredded cauliflower on a piece of white cloth (I used the cloth that my mom used to filter her homemade soya milk), then hand-squeezed all the water out! Make sure the cauliflower flour is dry! This is the most crucial part, otherwise your dough won't be successful. Mine was a little bit slight wet, then :p

I put in the wrong cheese. Should have put in the shredded mozzarella pizza cheese instead, not this cheddar cheese piece.

Preheat the oven to 180 degree C. And spread out the pizza dough on the baking pan like this.

Put the baking pan into the oven and bake for 5 to 10minutes or until the cheese bubbles up and there are slight brown edges on the sides.

Little claps when I saw these lovely brown edges!

The last step is all according to your preferences. I topped on my pan-fried chicken, broccoli, carrots, onions and mushroom. Of course, not forgetting the shredded mozzarella pizza cheese! Now, into the oven for about 10 minutes.

TA-DAHHHH!

I should put in more cheese, right? :p

I will definitely make this again when I am back home next time. Because I didn't eat much that day because this small pizza was shared among 4 people and many of my family members didn't get the chance to have the whole piece of it.

Oh ya, the video that I refered to is this one. So easy to make! :)

Ashamed?

My mom always tells others about my T1D and she would gladly explain to her friends about what T1D is and how her daughter is different from another diabetes, T2D. I used to dislike the act of my mom telling others, especially to her new friends about my T1D impromptuly. Whenever their chatting topic goes on about their respective children, my mom will eventually pull the topic to talk about me and talk about my T1D. Anyway, my mom certainly does a better job in explaining about the differences between T1D and T2D than some of the nurses in hospital. 

Honestly, I really don't like the way my mom's friends look at me after they found out the whole story about me having diabetes. Sometimes if I were to meet them again, they will look at me one kind and ask in an odd way: "How are you? 你现在过得好没有啊？" I know from the looks in their eyes, actually what they wanted to ask is "How is your T1D doing now?" "So, are you still doing the injection thing?". When I told them that I am doing good and I am still doing all the injections every day, they will againnnn give me those puppy eyes as if I am very miserable. (I am just unlucky, hmmm also lucky for the availability of insulin and devices nowadays)

I understand the reason behind my mom's action. She doesn't want me to feel ashamed of myself being diagnosed with diabetes and I realised how much she wanted others to understand my condition which is very much different from eating pills and getting cure. 

Diabetes is not something that I should be hiding, and of course I should not feel ashamed of it. It is a part of my life, why should I be ashamed of it? I wish I can reach out to more and more T1D in Malaysia, and tell them that they're not alone, a Big proportion of us exists in the DOC (Diabetes Online Community), always there for support! Reading diabetes blogs and sharing my stories in my blog make me feel less "alien". My story is a norm in all the T1D's eyes, and it really comforts me a lots. I feel so much better when I know that my story is not odd and what I encountered is reassured by other T1D's stories. 

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I am a person with strong need for reassurance of worth. I always ask for people's opinion about me when I was small. I always wanted people around me to reassure that I am good, and how I can do better. The need for reassurance of worth, especially from the closed one is so crucial for me. I know I am not ashamed of being diagnosed with T1D. However, sometimes I take in others' opinion too much, I take them to heart. 

My brother asked me the other day: Why don't you start eating candy or drinking regular coke right away when you realise that you're not feeling right and starting to lose focus while in the restaurant?

I told him that it's because I don't want to be viewed as a bad diabetic that drinks regular coke or eats candy right after a meal. I hate that I am looking so helpless in front of my friends. 

Then my brother asked again: After all these years, are you still feeling ashamed of being a diabetic? What's wrong with drinking regular coke or eating candy after a meal? You need to get your sugar up, that's it. 

I just silenced and shook my head: No, I am not ashamed of T1D. I am not. It's just that I don't like to be viewed as a vulnerable person because I have diabetes. This kind of ego causes me to end up in an even more embarrassed moment, which is banging a person's car. 

I am not ashamed of having diabetes. Just don't want to look too helpless when I actually need help. (omg why such complicated feelings?)

A battle of angel and demon in my head when I am hypo *sighed

Eating outside

Where to find healthy food? Either is cooking in the kitchen or eating outside. 

Because healthy food will not drop from the sky. You need to find it, either it grows from the ground, tree, flowers, seeds or from the water. 

Cooking in your kitchen is easy for you to eat healthily because you get to pick the right variety of food. So, for those who do not have a kitchen, how?

The good news is you get to pick the right Menu in order to eat healthily, despite you don't own a kitchen! Like me, I don't own a kitchen here at my rented place. So, I try to pick my menu properly or else I will just pop over to my friend's or boyfriend's house to cook. Because those menus from cafe can be quite expensive at times, at least for me, because I am currently living on a budget!

Last week I was at The Burgertory, SS15 Subang Jaya with my buddy. It serves Pork Burger, fries or apple walnut salad as side dish andddd I get to choose Coke light as my drink! (very rarely an individual restaurant sells Coke Light, but I think it is getting more and more in Selangor!)

This Curry Pork Burger costs me RM20, with a whole big chunk of apple walnut salad! I hardly finished the meal because the salad already filled up half of my stomach. But it was all satisfying and I was glad that I did not choose fries as my side dish, though I love potatoes.

Seriously, no much obstacles eating healthily, although living outside without a kitchen. One of the ways is the pick Mixed Rice. Because I get to choose the dishes that I want! Honestly, I will not have much choices if the food order is always fried rice, fried noodles and other fried stuffs, though these are the easy-to-order food menus. Moreover, don't forget your daily intake of at least two servings of fruits! Because fast food restaurants don't serve you fruits unless you order them. Neither the Mixed Rice restaurant serves you fruits, so buy your own fruits! You certainly don't need a kitchen to prepare fruits. Just a knife, bowl and water will do :)

Bought an avocado yesterday to cook with spaghetti, never actually bought an avocado before. Usually I eat avocado in those Japanese restaurants only, on top of sushi or in vege salad. This kinda small avocado costs me RM3. I am very untrained on how to pick the ripe avocado. I guess this small healthy fat fruit was a bit raw :p

A failure

I knocked on a guy's car just now. I wasn't driving fast. I was actually stopping my car, lining up in the car queue. It was just...I didn't press enough on the brake pedal, then my auto car slid in front and knock on the car in front of me.

I was driving my car after dinner at a burger shop. I know I was having low sugar symptoms, but my mind insisted not to take sugar because I have just eaten burger and apple salad. I was telling myself: It's okay, I will recover later after this meal. Don't eat sugar too rush, I might end up hyperglycemia later. 

I end up banging people's car because a simple task like pressing hard on the brake pedal was seen as impossible for a low diabetic. 

I am really scared. Not because of banging a car makes me afraid, but to think back that I am not myself when I was low scares me. The person isn't really mad at me. I was repeating I am truly sorry, and he said it's okay, accidents may happen at times. 

I was crying hard just now because I was really afraid. Whenever I recalled back what actually happened just now, I realized that wasn't me at all. I am not like that, a simple task as pressing the brake pedal I couldn't perform well. 

I don't blame diabetes for this incident. Everything happens for a reason, and it takes all aftermaths to know what the reason is. Blame myself for being judgmental towards sugar level. 

Today, T1D makes me feel like I am a total Failure. 

Eat to Live & Live to Eat

Which category you think belongs to you?

The same 3 words, but when you arrange them in separate ways, totally distinct meaning.

I put my title as "Eat to live And (&) Live to eat", because I do not agree with putting Or (/) in this quotation.

If you were to choose either one...

Let's talk about EAT to LIVE. It's kinda sad when you hear someone says: "Oh food is just my fuel, I eat because I need to keep my heart pumping. That's it." Food is colourful and should be creative! Food is not medication (though some medications can be quite colourful lol) that only treat or control your diseases. Food is a Wonderful Enjoyment in life! Food surely is not fuel that only cause you to gain weight and gain fats. When you gain much weight and body fat, most certainly is related to Metabolism and Mindful eating. Don't blame real food. 

Secondly, let's talk about LIVE to EAT. Oh, I continually encounter people who practise live to eat and believe me, I struggle hard to make them change. Even require extra effort to make him/her sit there for consultation.  Because a dietitian will make sure all their favourite foods are being eliminated. Wronggg! The moment I said healthy eating plan, I am so not going to ruin your "purpose in life" which is to eat. You will never go wrong by a variety of REAL healthy FOOD. And when I mentioned healthy eating plan, I am not saying the bland dull food. I am talking about Real Food cooking which is worth changing your eating habits for! Try a different cooking method, try using spices for a new flavor happening on your tongue, try exploring adding fruit and vegetables in your cooking and baking!

It's again the BALANCE of these two. Any extremity of either one, is a nonono. Enjoy your real food for the fuel, nutrients, satisfaction and pleasure that you can get from it!

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Everytime I talk about real food, I get really hungry. And my rented house here is having water rationing for April. The whole April month. @#$%@#$% Seriously, I really pik cik (frustrated).

Yesterday night went to Cold Storage and wanted to buy some avocados. But, they don't sell there. Probably have to go Jaya Grocer. Aiks.

Anyway, I bought a very expensive potato chips. I like how they specified the amount of carbohydrates in the chips. Really interesting informative Food Label for potato chips.

So precisely, about 13 chips = 16g carbs (1 serving!)

Now that I know how much to put in my bowl for snacking next time. But, at times, counting 26 chips every time I snack, can be quite bothering. I rather boil 2 medium potatoes, sprinkles salt pepper and eat haha!