I do lie

As a diabetic for 7 years, I have tried a few times lying about my condition, either is sugar level or food intake to my mom or my endo. 

So, today I am going to reveal the secret among diabetics, the truth among diabetics and the fear that I have, also the reason that I am not telling the truth.

(Some of the lies do not originate from me. So, please do not judge me.)

When did I lie to my mom? 

The time when my out-of-bed/ pre- breakfast sugar level was not in range. I have to admit that I lied to my mom several times about this before and luckily that she didn't check my glucometer reading. Anyhow, I didn't quite lie too extreme in a way that I would still tell her a high number (probably 9mmol/L) instead of telling her the truth which is 13mmol/L. 

Alright, I know this is bad. But there are always reasons behind every action. My reasons were...

Afraid that she will start nagging me for the whole day until I can't enjoy all my favourite food.

Afraid that she will start having sleepless nights because her daughter's sugar level is uncontrolled.

Afraid that she worries too much...

So, I am forgivable, right?

When did I lie to my endo?

Precisely, I did not lie to my endo. Just that I did not tell her that I did not complete my work. Well, since she didn't ask me anything in particular after seeing my log book *pointing fingers

I lied to my endo about the things I wrote in my log book.

Just imagine to fill in every detail every day!

Too much to fill in for a newly diagnosed teenager girl. Those times I was packed with tuition classes, exams, school works and assignments, plus I eat when I want to eat, and I eat quick. So quick that sometimes I forgot what I have eaten for the last meal.  

Last time, I always feel it was so troublesome to write in Date/Time for every meals and blood pricks. Type and Unit of Insulin, every Food Items that I consumed in detailssss. The above picture is not the log book that I used to record. I have my own DIY log book which has bigger space for me to record down every food item that I consumed. One page of an exercise book is only sufficient for me to write 2 days' records.

I have to admit that this is seriously not a good example. A detailed log book recording is a necessary, especially for the newly diagnosed, so as to ensure a better medication adjustment by the endo. Sometimes, when I forgot/lazy to write my log book for 2 days, it was a struggle to sit down on the study desk and tried hard to squeeze out some ideas for what I have eaten the last 2 days. Sugar levels were easy to recall because I could simply check back the time and sugar number on my glucometer. But, the time, the type and the amount of food ingested arghhhhh... I have to say that I tried my best not to "lie" too much. I never lied to my endo about my sugar level recordings because I know she can check the tally on my glucometer recordings. 

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A couple of weeks ago, I heard a very perfect way of falsifying a glucometer reading. We can actually use alcohol swabs to make sugar level reading lower! Okay, because I always thought that foreign fluids can cause a higher false reading on glucometer, didn't actually know that other than water, alcohol can make reading to be falsely low. 

My advice, don't lie to the endo using this almost perfect method. Because HbA1c reveals what we have done during the past three months. Maybe we can cheat a little on our food records, cheat a little to our loved ones about the actual sugar level, cheat a little on Fasting Blood Glucose during the visit to endo, but Haemoglobins all around our blood are the judge for our diabetes control. 

That's why people always say "swear by blood", blood or haemoglobin never lies, you see.

Ever since I was diagnosed, I never actually cheat to myself about my blood sugar level, I am frank to how my body's sugar level reacts to food. If after a big bowl of Cendol without extra insulin injections, my sugar goes up to 20.0mmol/L, be it, expected and it is definitely my fault for not injecting extra. 

One time of skipping finger pricking can make me feel whole day of uncomfort because of uncertainty. Not to say as in finger pricking makes me comfortable la, it's just feeling not right when I don't know what my sugar number is. I want to know the actual reading of my sugar level now even if it is high, so that I know when and how much to correct it. It is scary to have the picture of all your cells soaking in sugar water for a long time, I want to make sure I correct it as soon as possible!