Awareness

Okay, for almost one whole month didn't look at my blog. Buck upppp, cbs!

Sometimes I am really beh song (angry + frustrated) for all the lack of awareness in public and also some health professions. I see my anger as a catching fire, every time I thought of it. I tell myself I will make sure I strive hard to do better to increase the awareness of disease and then stop all the nutrition myths. 

But then, once in a while, there will still be some people or even health professionals that make me so pik cik (frust) and gik sim (heart ache) for what they have said. (Of course they must have said something like #diabetesmyths or #nutritionmyths, and they never willing to do a discussion.)

So, they actually keep my fire burning and burninggg. (Hopefully the fire will not turn into ashes so fast lolll)

First, how to initiate awareness?

Must start from the parents, the teachers, the lecturers, the doctor mentors.

Because all these people above will be the one raising up the current children, the future leaders. 

For some of the times, I will be so stunned looking at some professionals telling me things that seriously made me speechless. Alright, and then when I smiled and tried to explain to them, they just thought: Well, I am the great professor, I don't think you're right. There is no need for discussion. 

Come on, dietetics and medicines are lifelong learning. I want a lively discussion. Not some judgmental statements from you, not one-sided conversation, I want a win-win situation. 

_________________________________________________________________________

I am so grateful that I was given a chance by my boss to have a short talk about "Food and GI Function" on the Functional GI Disorders (FGID) study day. Most of the participants are doctors or doctor lecturers, which I am glad because awareness starts from those who raise the future leaders finally!

Yes, I was nervous.
But, I can do it better next time. This will not be the last one :)

With my boss and Prof Peter.
Thanks for making a great effort in showing them that foods do play a great role!

Both of them are so inspiring. Special thanks especially to my boss, he teaches me a lots of experiences that I don't think I can find elsewhere. Despite some plans didn't work out as we wish for in the beginning, he has been a great mentor for me, and will continue to be, even our paths may not cross in the future :)

Why dietetics?

The decision that I make today, will determine where I will be tomorrow. 

The food that I eat now, will determine my sugar level later on.

The insulin that I inject now, will determine the amount of food that I can eat later on.

The present control of diabetes, will determine the complications that I may get in the future *touch wood

Before I pursued the Bachelor's Degree in Dietetics, I actually wanted to study pharmacy. I made up my mind to study pharmacy right after I graduated from Form 5 (high school). I applied all relevant scholarships with PHARMACY course as the first choice only.

And the only reason is...I wanted to get the cheapest but the best INSULIN in handy hahahaha

So, why am I a dietitian today?

People tell me not to eat rice or meehun or rice-made products because all these can cause diabetes #diabetesfoodmyth

People tell me that my mother must have been eating too much durian while she was pregnant with me #diabetesfoodmyth

People tell me that I should be on a low or no carbohydrates diet #diabetesfoodmyth

People tell me that I should not eat durian for the rest of my life (gosh, why so cruel to me) #diabetesfoodmyth

People tell me that I get hungry because there are too much sugars in my blood (I was hungry because...I was really hungry okay) #diabetesfoodmyth

People tell me don't eat this, eat that or eat that, don't eat this.

But they never tell me why. They never tell me how much I can actually take. They never explain to me. 

T1D already is very frustrating at times, all these claims sometimes aggravate the frustration. 

I need to inject insulin. But there are only 4 types of insulin for the moment. 

I need to enjoy food. For there are hundreds types of food!

Seriously, I have to stop all these #diabetesfoodmyth.

That is how T1D plays a role in determining this future of mine.
(Just one part, not being the whole part of determining :p)

Usually I do not tell

I usually will not tell others that I have diabetes, 

UNLESS you saw something peculiar and decided to ask me OR I have to tell you in case an emergency happens OR I tell you so as to give you inspiration, to motivate you.

My secondary school classmates all knew what I have undergone and most of them visited me in hospital during diagnosis time. Hence, I have no problem doing diabetes routine works in front of them. More, they never judge me because they went through the T1D adaptation phrase with me. 

But things were totally different when I graduated from high school and started leaving home to go Matriculation College (Pre-University) all alone.

My mom insisted me to inform my matriculation college roommates/close friends that I have diabetes and what they can assist when emergency happens. I still remembered the first time I mentioned to new friends that "multiple daily injections are my daily routine", my voice shivered. I was feeling like a freak, explaining to people that I am an odd girl with a chronic disease that needs needle poking everyday. And that we were all young that time, nobody actually understands what diabetes is. But, they were all helpful and willing to give in their ears to listen the needs that I may require. I am thankful :)

There are some closed friends in matriculation college that I have known for 3-4 years, but I never mentioned about my T1D to them and they did not realize any unusual acts too. Therefore, I never had the chance to be frank with them, though we were close buddies. 

My bf is the first guy friend whom knew about my T1D. I told him after he shared with me the secret of his. I guess that was when we started to share inner stories more frequently haha!

After college, another new phrase: University!

Still, my voice shivered when I told my housemates that I have diabetes during the first week of university. Now, recalling back, why did I shiver so much? Memalukan saja (embarrassing). 

I never tell any of my classmates because I could not find a chance to tell. Perhaps you will say: Well, you can tell them during freshman introduction night. But don't you think it will be extremely odd if I started my self-introduction like this: Hi, my name is Bing Shin. I am a dietetics student, also a Type 1 diabetic. I think they would stare at me the whole night long later on.

So I shut my doors to most of my university friends. Those times of facing diabetes were really hard, I strived so much all alone, believing nobody understands me. Then one day, a close classmate of mine found out something particularly strange about me: I must bring a blue case together to toilet before lunch time everyday. I was quite glad that she asked, then started explaining to her that it is actually my insulin pen case and why I need insulin etc. 

While in university, I decided not to tell any of my lecturers about my T1D because of this incident which made me sad for a little while. I was experiencing hypoglycemia in class with the lecturer talking in front of me. Hardly concentrating and finally lost control, extremely sleepy (not too sure if I was unaware of my hypoglycemia symptoms or I was just too afraid to eat candy in front of that lecturer). 

At the end, I actually went and so stupidly closed my eyes and nearly fall on the desk! The lecturer stared at me and was saying something to the whole class which I couldn't respond to that at all! My friend who was sitting beside quickly hold me up and stuffed in Mentos into my palm (not too sure if she realized I was hypo or she just wanted to pass me candy because she thought I was sleepy). 

Slowly, I gained back my consciousness and recalled back what happened just now. I couldn't remember what the lecturer said in front of the whole class just now, but I knew it must be some mocking at me. I had the first worst feeling in my university life.

After the class ended, I decided to approach the lecturer personally because I wanted to explain that it was hypoglycemia, anddd I really didn't mean to behave that way in her class! I wanted her to put herself in my shoes. But, all she said was: Oh really? Diabetes can do that? Then, she continued doing her work, while I just apologized and walked away. Second worst feeling ever on that day.

That was the time I captured that: 

Diabetes is common, but not everyone knows about every bit of it, even when you're a professional.