I think...I actually have become more Optimistic, Positive, Encouraging since I got diagnosed with T1DM.
I remembered well on the day Dr Yong told my mom and I that I had diabetes. Not the usual one.
"Oh diabetes! Alright I just have to cut down eating sweets, chocolate etc. Since I do not favour sweet food much, I guess it won't be a problem and soon I will recover, as soon as I get discharged from hospital."
I remembered I said these to myself. And I regretted very soon.
While I was in hospital, staff nurses were those who helped me to inject insulin. Finally on the last day in hospital, one nurse brought a syringe and came to my bed side. I had no idea what insulin was at that time. I just thought it was some kind of medicine for me to get recovered. Thinking to myself: After this I can go back home and go back to school tomorrow. Never bother about injections.
The nurse drew out insulin into the syringe and asked me to show up my abdomen. I was thinking: Why can't she just injects on my arms. I am totally okay with injections. But...on abdomen? Alright, just do whatever I was being told.
The next thing was, she asked me to pinch a fold of skin up and asked me to hold that syringe with cap removed. And then injected. I did not cry or yell or even refuse to complete her request.
Hmmm...Perhaps I was just too happy-go-lucky on a really "lucky" situation.
I got back home after 5 days of admission in hospital. I was given syringes and insulin.
On the first day at home, I had to inject myself using syringes before every meals. I began to feel the trouble and began to realize that this is going to be a routine. A long life routine.
Then, only I started to cry in my room alone. Because I had finally realized that I am different from others of same age now. No one is like me. I had to do all these finger pricking, drawing insulin, poking skin EVERYDAY. Infact is EVERY MEALS. Only me has to do this. Only me.
I stopped crying when I was already tired. I did not tell my mom how sad I was. How unwilling I was. I was thinking: WHY ME? Why not her, him or them?
Things were hard. Diet control was hard. Insulin triggered my appetite, I kept getting hyperglycemia >16mmol/L. I ate a lots of rice at home. Did not bother much, all I want to do was just to get satisfaction from eating.
Now 6 years I have been living with T1DM. Honestly many people asked if I feel pain during injections. I do feel pain but I tolerated this feeling. Most of the time, I do not feel pain at all with 5mm needle insulin pen. Or people always say: Oh, it has been a while, I think you can't feel pain is because you are already getting used to it.
Helloooo, I do feel pain on some injections okay. Is just that pain or not pain, I still have to inject insulin in order to survive okay! *eye rolls
But they were right. I am getting used to it now. It's like a daily task, like sleeping, breathing, walking, seeing, hearing and etc. It has became a norm for me. Though, this task is still considered as an extra work for others who look at me differently.
Ya it is an EXTRA. I called this as an EXTRA-ordinary disease :)
I got back home after 5 days of admission in hospital. I was given syringes and insulin.
On the first day at home, I had to inject myself using syringes before every meals. I began to feel the trouble and began to realize that this is going to be a routine. A long life routine.
Then, only I started to cry in my room alone. Because I had finally realized that I am different from others of same age now. No one is like me. I had to do all these finger pricking, drawing insulin, poking skin EVERYDAY. Infact is EVERY MEALS. Only me has to do this. Only me.
I stopped crying when I was already tired. I did not tell my mom how sad I was. How unwilling I was. I was thinking: WHY ME? Why not her, him or them?
Things were hard. Diet control was hard. Insulin triggered my appetite, I kept getting hyperglycemia >16mmol/L. I ate a lots of rice at home. Did not bother much, all I want to do was just to get satisfaction from eating.
Now 6 years I have been living with T1DM. Honestly many people asked if I feel pain during injections. I do feel pain but I tolerated this feeling. Most of the time, I do not feel pain at all with 5mm needle insulin pen. Or people always say: Oh, it has been a while, I think you can't feel pain is because you are already getting used to it.
Helloooo, I do feel pain on some injections okay. Is just that pain or not pain, I still have to inject insulin in order to survive okay! *eye rolls
But they were right. I am getting used to it now. It's like a daily task, like sleeping, breathing, walking, seeing, hearing and etc. It has became a norm for me. Though, this task is still considered as an extra work for others who look at me differently.
Ya it is an EXTRA. I called this as an EXTRA-ordinary disease :)
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